Cirstal year

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 The crystal year


It’s that time of year again when I sit down and write my annual reflections. Usually, I’d post them on Facebook, but I deleted my account years ago. So, bear with me, my imaginary friends.


This year has been a rollercoaster of emotions. A six-year cycle is coming to an end, and with it, all the stability I had. I’ve seen doubts creeping up, challenges looming, and trees made of fear. But the sky still feels blue.


One of the best things about this year is that I finally healed. It’s not about growing up, it’s about finding the root cause of my bad habits and understanding how I manipulated people. I realized how I used guilt and shame to control others, both in passive and aggressive ways.


It’s tough to see how you hurt people when you’re blinded by your own scars. I walked through my years, carrying a sword of guilt, hatred, and resentment. I pushed tears into people and had explosive tantrums because I was hurt and angry. But understanding that my behavior wasn’t born of an immature heart or a manipulative mind, but of trauma, helped me realize that sometimes I saw others as means to an end rather than as ends in themselves.


This year has been a crystal of uncertainty for the future and a year of growth for the past. It’s also been a year of celebrations and achievements. I’ve traveled to places I never imagined as a child, found my true smile, and had a lot of energy not because I had to survive, but because I wanted to enjoy life. Japan, writing, walking, riding the bicycle, day dreaming on a train and music were the fireflies that lit up my nights and led me to the picture below: thank you everyone, muchas gracias todos, 皆さんarigatougosaimasu.





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