Crisis

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 Please stop my head from thinking. Stop it from putting these emotion in my heart, from making me feel that everything is going to be bad. I want to cry, like the rain I wanna rage: alone, forever in this room where nobody can see, where no-one can hear my voice. 

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Cirstal year

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  The crystal year It’s that time of year again when I sit down and write my annual reflections. Usually, I’d post them on Facebook, but I deleted my account years ago. So, bear with me, my imaginary friends. This year has been a rollercoaster of emotions. A six-year cycle is coming to an end, and with it, all the stability I had. I’ve seen doubts creeping up, challenges looming, and trees made of fear. But the sky still feels blue. One of the best things about this year is that I finally healed. It’s not about growing up, it’s about finding the root cause of my bad habits and understanding how I manipulated people. I realized how I used guilt and shame to control others, both in passive and aggressive ways. It’s tough to see how you hurt people when you’re blinded by your own scars. I walked through my years, carrying a sword of guilt, hatred, and resentment. I pushed tears into people and had explosive tantrums because I was hurt and angry. But understanding that my behav...
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No English no McDonalds

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I hated that school. I hated the nuns, my classmates, the  Padre Nuestro  recited before every class. Catechism felt like an unbearable purgatory—a spiral of hollow reflections that numbed my mind. Miss Pilar, young and beautiful, sat me in a strange chair and abused her position as director to mock me. Every day, I walked the halls and patios of Montini with those kids—rich, but not rich enough—while my brown skin stood out against their whiteness. Every day, I faced a cesspool of fake smiles from pretentious families. The pretty girls ignored me, and I, a boy who drew silly pictures just to make friends, was left behind. There was a teacher—one whose words scarred me—who told me I was uglier than someone wearing a hideous Halloween mask. I wanted to cry, to escape, but when I got home, I found no refuge, no solitude, only a house full of people. I wanted to be alone. Alone. Forever alone. I never fit within those glass palace walls, never understood the rules of their compet...
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Ansiedad, lo único que quisiera es que me dejes de seguir, de perseguir, de molestar, de fastidiar, de ser mi sombra en cada un momento en cualquier instante, en cada esquina, en cada suspiro. Por favor —te lo suplico—, dame un rato descanso, de repaso de buenas intenciones, y aleja de ni aquellos malos pensamientos con los que me envuelves con ceniza que no le deja de hablar a cada resquicio de mi paciencia y mi esperanza. Te lo ruego de buen corazón, desaparece, aléjate de mí por favor: —por favor déjame respirar una vez más aire fresco sin preocupaciones de un posible mañana o de las tragedias del futuro de aquella enfermedad que no sé si realmente tengo porque tengo mil culpas de todo aquello que hice mal un momento que no recuerdo o que avergüenza recordar.   Deja de abrazar mi pecho como si quisieras reconfortarme cuando en realidad quisieras enfadarme, preocuparme en demasía con la atención que de por sí ya tengo en vistas al pasado. Ya que tu sabes que yo sé que no puedo e...
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